im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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