All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
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It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize