I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Operation Purity has been aborted
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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