I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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