its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
