oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
