i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
