she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
they're like a gay fantastic four
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
