So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
