Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
