He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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