I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Your penis caused this!
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