Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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