Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize