The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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