You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Randomize
