How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
