He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
