Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize