and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize