glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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