yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
