She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize