Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
there is puke in my bra ... again
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