I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
