How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
