Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
