my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
