Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
