So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
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