a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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