So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
