i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
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I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
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You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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