I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
