Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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