Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
