how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
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The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
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When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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