the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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