I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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