What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
