This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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