I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
