sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
