Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize