I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You were trust falling into bushes
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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