i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
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so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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