I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
