sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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