A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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