WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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