Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
