I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
