Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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