no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
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I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
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I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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