piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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