Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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