I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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