He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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