yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
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finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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