come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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